Unfortunately, when Solomon turned from God into a reprobate
his wisdom did not depart also. The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable
(Romans 11:29). Therefore, Solomon suffered great despair because of his
knowledge and the hopelessness of it all without God.
Many years ago, as a backslidden Christian who could not get
free from his alcoholism, I understood Solomon's dilemma. As we used to say in
Alcoholics Anonymous, "A head full of the Big Book and a belly full of
booze is a bad mix." In other words, when we know the right way to go, and
don't do it, this causes a deep, dark hopelessness. Often, this is
characteristic of possessing knowledge of the right way and not having the
wherewithal to do anything about it.
Solomon found the gift of repentance once again, as I once
again found the gift of sobriety and new life in Jesus Christ. However, there
are many who will continue to struggle as their "increasing knowledge
results in increasing pain.” Take heart, beloved, and continue to cry out to
God. He is the only One who can make peace between our knowledge and His wisdom
to surrender.
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