Unfortunately, when Solomon turned from God into a reprobate his wisdom did not depart also. The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). Therefore, Solomon suffered great despair because of his knowledge and the hopelessness of it all without God.
Many years ago, as a backslidden Christian who could not get free from his alcoholism, I understood Solomon's dilemma. As we used to say in Alcoholics Anonymous, "A head full of the Big Book and a belly full of booze is a bad mix." In other words, when we know the right way to go, and don't do it, this causes a deep, dark hopelessness. Often, this is characteristic of possessing knowledge of the right way and not having the wherewithal to do anything about it.
Solomon found the gift of repentance once again, as I once again found the gift of sobriety and new life in Jesus Christ. However, there are many who will continue to struggle as their "increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.” Take heart, beloved, and continue to cry out to God. He is the only One who can make peace between our knowledge and His wisdom to surrender.
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